Bedroom Talk

Let's talk about sex and Agape.

Yup, sex talk from a virgin. Great, isn't it?

I think too many people believe that once you get married, the bedroom is a playground allowing anything (note: I'm not even touching condoms and birth control). But is this true? Is this how God sees it?

What does God have to say about sex and sexuality, especially in connection with Agape?

In order to help answer these questions, I'll be referring to a previously written post (Fuck vs. Love). I would like to note that I will now not type the "F" word again; I will make illusions to it (yes, I have a problem saying and/or typing that word; words are powerful).

We discussed earlier that submission is the key to good Eros, to essentially have union with a person rather than just having sex with them. I think this is also the key here. Just because you're married doesn't mean you're always going to treat your spouse as the person they deserve. Fights happen, and mean things are said. Things are fixed afterwards, but that doesn't change the fact that it happened.

The same thing goes for sex. It is possible to treat your spouse as an object when having sex with them rather than the special person they are. It is possible to decide to take what is wanted, rather than to give what is needed.


SUBMISSION IN THE BEDROOM

I believe certain sexual acts are bad no matter what. For example, I'm never going to have sex with my wife without being able to see her eyes. I want us to be able to see into each other's soul, and I want her to feel the same way. The additional side affect to this is that our soul has to be "pure" for us to have sex, otherwise the other person will know. We have to be having sex out of love for one another.

This is where Agape comes in. When having sex, I believe Agape is as much involved as Eros. Why? Because it's not a true sexual union unless you love the person completely for who they are. Sex is as much about pro-creation and union as it is about giving yourself up for that person. That's what sex is: giving yourself up for the person.


THE QUESTION

Sex is not a subject that I am experienced in--I really don't know what to type from here. I do want to stress, though, that I do not believe everything should be done in the bedroom. Paul says that everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Please, consider this when you have sex. Yeah, you can do it, but is it really the best for the two of you?

How do you show YOUR partner Agape in the bedroom?

How do YOU submit to THEM?