I’ve breached many subjects in the last month or so of this website. And it’s been fun. However, it’s time for it to end. Yes, it feels like it has just started (and it has), but the time for the teachings are over. Except for this last one.
Humility. Such a scary word. And yet, it has the same general idea as submission.
I’ve been wrong lots of times. I know other people who have been wrong in different situations also. What I always find interesting, though, is how people act. Do they get angry, sad, worried, or right? How do they handle the situation? Cause whether they know it or not, it makes a world of difference.
Let’s pretend I’m wrong. I said something at some function to a group of people that I shouldn’t have said. What should my reaction be? Humbling myself into apology. But not just an apology to God — that would be way too easy. I would have to get back up in front of those people and ask them to forgive me. It goes the same way on a personal basis. If you offend somebody, you have to go to them personally and apologize. And that’s humbling.
I think that people have this whole apologizing thing down pack, or they at least think they do. But listen folks: it’s EASY to apologize to God. He’s not going to go and tell everybody what we did. And we have assurance that he will love us no matter what. But to apologize to a friend or group of people…that’s different. A friend can go and tell everybody what happened. And a group of people have every right in the book to think badly of you. It’s a risk.
A rewarding one though.
The other half of humbling yourself is learning. You can’t just apologize and move on; you have to learn from the situation. Otherwise, what was the point of it?
Please, always, always learn from a humbling situation. It’s a gift from God.
Thank you all for your time in reading “Liquid Agape.” I hope that in some sense you have a better idea of how to have liquid agape running through your veins. Please, if you have any friends that you think could benefit from these thoughts, send them this way. The website will continue to stay just where it’s at. Thank you again, and good night.
8.21.2007
8.20.2007
Choices, choices, actions
I wonder, honestly, what people think of submission. Do they think it’s a one time choice? Or do they think it’s something that is done often? Or something that isn’t really a decision, but a series of choices? Maybe a mixture of all three? Or maybe there’s a whole thought altogether that I’m missing. I’m not sure.
The first thing that does come to mind is the apostle Peter. It seemed that when Christ was on earth, Peter was completely devoted to Jesus. There was no end to the submission. But then Christ was captured. Tortured. Killed. No more devotion from Peter. No more submission. This leads me to believe that submission is a continual choice. If we read on in the bible we see that Jesus comes back, and Peter is once again submissive to Christ, and he stays that way for the rest of his life.
However, I also doubt that Peter was able to stay totally submissive to Christ his whole life. I know that there’s a battle that goes on inside me all the time. It’s a battle to be submissive to Christ, or submissive to myself. This leads me to believe that submission isn’t so much a continual decision as a bunch of choices that show submission.
I want you to think for a second. As humans, we can make a choice, but that doesn’t always mean much. On Sunday morning I can easily make the choice to read my bible everyday, but that choice doesn’t mean squat unless I follow through with it. In other words, I can make the choice to be submissive to Christ, but it doesn’t mean anything unless I follow through with it.
It’s the same thing with wedding vows. When you take them you are making the choice to be submissive to the person you are marrying, but it’s not really submission until you do it.
I’m pretty sure that it’s both a choice and an action. But I’m also pretty sure that the important part is that it’s continual. It’s a continual choice followed by an action. And so I think it also has to be said that if you’re not continually making a choice to follow God and then doing it, you’re continually making a choice in the opposite direction.
Which leads me to yet another question:
What choices are you making?
Submissive to God choices?
Submissive to Spouse choices?
Submissive to People choices?
Or submissive to self choices?
What kind of actions are you making?
Submissive to God actions?
Submissive to Spouse actions?
Submissive to People actions?
Or submissive to self actions?
Think ‘bout it…
The first thing that does come to mind is the apostle Peter. It seemed that when Christ was on earth, Peter was completely devoted to Jesus. There was no end to the submission. But then Christ was captured. Tortured. Killed. No more devotion from Peter. No more submission. This leads me to believe that submission is a continual choice. If we read on in the bible we see that Jesus comes back, and Peter is once again submissive to Christ, and he stays that way for the rest of his life.
However, I also doubt that Peter was able to stay totally submissive to Christ his whole life. I know that there’s a battle that goes on inside me all the time. It’s a battle to be submissive to Christ, or submissive to myself. This leads me to believe that submission isn’t so much a continual decision as a bunch of choices that show submission.
I want you to think for a second. As humans, we can make a choice, but that doesn’t always mean much. On Sunday morning I can easily make the choice to read my bible everyday, but that choice doesn’t mean squat unless I follow through with it. In other words, I can make the choice to be submissive to Christ, but it doesn’t mean anything unless I follow through with it.
It’s the same thing with wedding vows. When you take them you are making the choice to be submissive to the person you are marrying, but it’s not really submission until you do it.
I’m pretty sure that it’s both a choice and an action. But I’m also pretty sure that the important part is that it’s continual. It’s a continual choice followed by an action. And so I think it also has to be said that if you’re not continually making a choice to follow God and then doing it, you’re continually making a choice in the opposite direction.
Which leads me to yet another question:
What choices are you making?
Submissive to God choices?
Submissive to Spouse choices?
Submissive to People choices?
Or submissive to self choices?
What kind of actions are you making?
Submissive to God actions?
Submissive to Spouse actions?
Submissive to People actions?
Or submissive to self actions?
Think ‘bout it…
8.18.2007
Sad Days
Sad days call for sad memories.
I work in developmental therapy. For the past 10 months I’ve worked with a particularly special client. Friday, however, brought around the end of my time in my current office. Not that I won’t be around to work with him once in a while, but I’m pretty much done here (well, minus the summers).
And so this brings me to my next lesson: submission isn’t just hard, it occasionally hurts. Bad.
You see, it’s not that easy for me to walk away and go to college. I’m leaving this person (that I’ve spent the 10 last months teaching) in the dust. Not that it’s wrong. I don’t believe it is. I believe that the next step for me is college. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
What things happen in your life that make you hurt?
What submissions have you made, or do you have to make, that hurt?
I work in developmental therapy. For the past 10 months I’ve worked with a particularly special client. Friday, however, brought around the end of my time in my current office. Not that I won’t be around to work with him once in a while, but I’m pretty much done here (well, minus the summers).
And so this brings me to my next lesson: submission isn’t just hard, it occasionally hurts. Bad.
You see, it’s not that easy for me to walk away and go to college. I’m leaving this person (that I’ve spent the 10 last months teaching) in the dust. Not that it’s wrong. I don’t believe it is. I believe that the next step for me is college. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
What things happen in your life that make you hurt?
What submissions have you made, or do you have to make, that hurt?
8.17.2007
Submission Hardness
If I haven’t made this clear yet, I will: submission is never easy.
I’ll point you to my life for this. I’m leaving for college in 7 days. Maybe some of ya’ll have been there; good. Then you know how it feels. I want you to grasp that feeling for a second. If you haven’t done it, grasp on to a very uneasy, excited but anxious feeling.
That’s how I feel.
I can’t exactly say it isn’t wonderful; but it’s not just scary either. What does college have to do with God? A lot! I’m moving out on my own. I have to make my own decisions. I have to choose what the best choice is. How can I do that without God? But I have to be submissive to God in order to do that.
Let’s just take one thing: when creating my school schedule (which becomes “permanent” today) I had to choose whether to take ASL 101 (American Sign Language) or MUS 101 (Music). I received an e mail from the MUS 101 teacher because that’s what I was signed up for. She told me that her class is for mostly Music Majors, and that the MUS 100 would be better. I seriously thought about it. I asked her questions. And I asked God. I had to submit to him to let him guide me.
I know that seems easy, but come on! You talk to God about your school schedule and tell me how easy it is.
Relationships (the romantic kind) are another really hard area. My girlfriend and I have had lots of troubles, and it has come down to us asking God (at times) “is this where you want us?” Those questions and neither of the possible answers would be easy to hear, but the questions and submission is necessary.
Don‘t get the idea that just asking the questions is submission. That’s only the start. You have to actually bow down to the answer. If God told me to take MUS 101 but I took ASL 101, all I’m saying to God is “Thanks for your advice, but I’m going to do this instead.” It’s the same thing with KT and I; if we continued dating when God said to end it, life would be hell (and I mean that literally, not as a curse).
Once again we come to the part where I say that submission is such a huge subject that I can’t cover it all in one paper, and can probably never cover it by myself. It will take many other writers and speakers and teachers in the world. But the point I want to give is it’s not easy to submit. Today I’ve only given examples for submitting to God, but think of your relationships. Is it easy to do what’s best for everyone around you before you do what’s best for yourself? Is it easy to love ALL the people around you? Easy to treat them with dignity and respect?
And what’s life worth if we don’t?
I’ll point you to my life for this. I’m leaving for college in 7 days. Maybe some of ya’ll have been there; good. Then you know how it feels. I want you to grasp that feeling for a second. If you haven’t done it, grasp on to a very uneasy, excited but anxious feeling.
That’s how I feel.
I can’t exactly say it isn’t wonderful; but it’s not just scary either. What does college have to do with God? A lot! I’m moving out on my own. I have to make my own decisions. I have to choose what the best choice is. How can I do that without God? But I have to be submissive to God in order to do that.
Let’s just take one thing: when creating my school schedule (which becomes “permanent” today) I had to choose whether to take ASL 101 (American Sign Language) or MUS 101 (Music). I received an e mail from the MUS 101 teacher because that’s what I was signed up for. She told me that her class is for mostly Music Majors, and that the MUS 100 would be better. I seriously thought about it. I asked her questions. And I asked God. I had to submit to him to let him guide me.
I know that seems easy, but come on! You talk to God about your school schedule and tell me how easy it is.
Relationships (the romantic kind) are another really hard area. My girlfriend and I have had lots of troubles, and it has come down to us asking God (at times) “is this where you want us?” Those questions and neither of the possible answers would be easy to hear, but the questions and submission is necessary.
Don‘t get the idea that just asking the questions is submission. That’s only the start. You have to actually bow down to the answer. If God told me to take MUS 101 but I took ASL 101, all I’m saying to God is “Thanks for your advice, but I’m going to do this instead.” It’s the same thing with KT and I; if we continued dating when God said to end it, life would be hell (and I mean that literally, not as a curse).
Once again we come to the part where I say that submission is such a huge subject that I can’t cover it all in one paper, and can probably never cover it by myself. It will take many other writers and speakers and teachers in the world. But the point I want to give is it’s not easy to submit. Today I’ve only given examples for submitting to God, but think of your relationships. Is it easy to do what’s best for everyone around you before you do what’s best for yourself? Is it easy to love ALL the people around you? Easy to treat them with dignity and respect?
And what’s life worth if we don’t?
8.16.2007
You're not given passion?
I once heard somebody say, “We just aren’t passionate here!” when defending why they were leaving their church. You have to admit, that’s a slightly confusing statement. What people are really saying is “I don’t FEEL like being passionate here.”
In our Western society kind of thinking, we have this ideal that passion is something that’s supposed to be given to us. We think we have to do nothing to be passionate. But this is untrue. In reality, passion is something that we choose to have.
Everybody has talents. One of mine is writing. I like to write. But just because I like to write doesn’t mean that I am passionate about it. I have to choose to WANT to sit down everyday and write. I have to choose to enjoy it. And it goes the other way. I can be passionate about something without having a talent for it. For example, I love singing. My whole body tingles when I stand next to somebody singing very well. I feel passionate about singing, but you’ll never hear me sing outside of the church building.
Passion is something you have, and have to work to keep.
I love my girlfriend. But I wasn’t just given that love; I choose to love her everyday of my life. Otherwise, I might forget to look at her as the person I love, and I just look at her (possibly as the person I lust, instead). It’s the same for the church; you have to choose to be passionate. If you are spending time sitting on a pew and looking at all the flaws in the church body, are you going to be passionate? Hecka no. But when you’re out trying to make things better for the people around you, you maintain that passion.
Another thing you have to do to be passionate is show up. If you don’t show up to the services, you shouldn’t expect to be passionate. And don’t just show up, do something. Don’t turn things away when you’re asked to do something.
You can’t be passionate if you aren’t earning the passion.
That’s the bottom line, folks. Passion is a reward, not a gift.
In our Western society kind of thinking, we have this ideal that passion is something that’s supposed to be given to us. We think we have to do nothing to be passionate. But this is untrue. In reality, passion is something that we choose to have.
Everybody has talents. One of mine is writing. I like to write. But just because I like to write doesn’t mean that I am passionate about it. I have to choose to WANT to sit down everyday and write. I have to choose to enjoy it. And it goes the other way. I can be passionate about something without having a talent for it. For example, I love singing. My whole body tingles when I stand next to somebody singing very well. I feel passionate about singing, but you’ll never hear me sing outside of the church building.
Passion is something you have, and have to work to keep.
I love my girlfriend. But I wasn’t just given that love; I choose to love her everyday of my life. Otherwise, I might forget to look at her as the person I love, and I just look at her (possibly as the person I lust, instead). It’s the same for the church; you have to choose to be passionate. If you are spending time sitting on a pew and looking at all the flaws in the church body, are you going to be passionate? Hecka no. But when you’re out trying to make things better for the people around you, you maintain that passion.
Another thing you have to do to be passionate is show up. If you don’t show up to the services, you shouldn’t expect to be passionate. And don’t just show up, do something. Don’t turn things away when you’re asked to do something.
You can’t be passionate if you aren’t earning the passion.
That’s the bottom line, folks. Passion is a reward, not a gift.
8.15.2007
What does God want?
For a very long time I attended a Nazarene Church (that’s right; no dancing for me!). In fact, it’s pretty much the only church I remember attending for an extended period of time before the Christian Church I’m at now.
When we were there some funky stuff started happening. Some stuff happened with the lead pastor, and he was going in a different direction than the youth pastor (this is NOT the only reason we left, but it’s the reason I want to talk about). Eventually the youth pastor and his wife left and moved out of state. Since that day I always felt a loss. I always missed them. Recently they’ve come back, and it’s forced my to ponder the implications of why they left.
Did it really have to do with the pastor, or was there something more going on?
Did God have a plan?
How does it tie in with Agape?
It is my belief that everything happens for a reason. Maybe God didn’t want that something to happen, but it still had a reason, good or bad.
Sometimes, though, God asks us to leave a situation.
I played soccer my Freshmen year of High School and simultaneously played in the band. My Sophomore year I tried to go back to soccer, but I really wasn’t into it (regrettably, I wish I had still played). I think maybe God had a hand in that. I went on to be Drum Major in the band (something that took ALL my time and effort on top of my job) and had to usher in a new band director. The entrance of this director was not under good circumstances, and it took all the patience my girlfriend (the other DM) and I had to keep things up and running (this isn’t to say we didn’t have the help of Band Parents). Anyway, the point is there was a much bigger reason than me just losing temporary interest in soccer.
Do you think it’s easy to quit something like that? Easy to “quit” a church? Nuh uh! It takes full submission to God.
It takes us bowing down before God and saying, “I can’t see where this is going; lead me.”
I think that’s possibly what God did 3 years ago (could have been longer…) when my youth pastor and his wife left. I know it did some great things for me. And, now their back in town, wiser and ready to start a church. Isn’t that cool?
It’s not easy, though, to submit to God. It means putting aside what we want and pursuing him. Do you think my youth pastor and his wife wanted to leave? It surely didn’t appear so at the time.
Do you think King David wanted to kill all the people he did? Probably not, but it was necessary for survival.
Do you think Jesus WANTED to be persecuted and killed? Oh no. But he loves us.
Definitely not easy. My question:
How do you submit to God?
Think about it, maybe send me a comment and let me know. I’m interested.
When we were there some funky stuff started happening. Some stuff happened with the lead pastor, and he was going in a different direction than the youth pastor (this is NOT the only reason we left, but it’s the reason I want to talk about). Eventually the youth pastor and his wife left and moved out of state. Since that day I always felt a loss. I always missed them. Recently they’ve come back, and it’s forced my to ponder the implications of why they left.
Did it really have to do with the pastor, or was there something more going on?
Did God have a plan?
How does it tie in with Agape?
It is my belief that everything happens for a reason. Maybe God didn’t want that something to happen, but it still had a reason, good or bad.
Sometimes, though, God asks us to leave a situation.
I played soccer my Freshmen year of High School and simultaneously played in the band. My Sophomore year I tried to go back to soccer, but I really wasn’t into it (regrettably, I wish I had still played). I think maybe God had a hand in that. I went on to be Drum Major in the band (something that took ALL my time and effort on top of my job) and had to usher in a new band director. The entrance of this director was not under good circumstances, and it took all the patience my girlfriend (the other DM) and I had to keep things up and running (this isn’t to say we didn’t have the help of Band Parents). Anyway, the point is there was a much bigger reason than me just losing temporary interest in soccer.
Do you think it’s easy to quit something like that? Easy to “quit” a church? Nuh uh! It takes full submission to God.
It takes us bowing down before God and saying, “I can’t see where this is going; lead me.”
I think that’s possibly what God did 3 years ago (could have been longer…) when my youth pastor and his wife left. I know it did some great things for me. And, now their back in town, wiser and ready to start a church. Isn’t that cool?
It’s not easy, though, to submit to God. It means putting aside what we want and pursuing him. Do you think my youth pastor and his wife wanted to leave? It surely didn’t appear so at the time.
Do you think King David wanted to kill all the people he did? Probably not, but it was necessary for survival.
Do you think Jesus WANTED to be persecuted and killed? Oh no. But he loves us.
Definitely not easy. My question:
How do you submit to God?
Think about it, maybe send me a comment and let me know. I’m interested.
8.14.2007
Philosophy 101
In two weeks I’ll start College and one of the courses I’m signed up for in Philosophy 101. The thing I find odd about this is that people are worried about me. For one, my best friend is worried about the subject matter. Perhaps worried that I might start questioning my religion. Or leave it all together. I’m not sure.
One lady I talked to at church saw my Philosophy handbook and asked me if it was Christianity based. I said Philosophy was about questions, and Christianity was about questions, so yes.
She promptly told me Christianity was about answers and walked away.
I agree, but only slightly.
Philosophy asks the basic questions of life: What is the purpose? Does God exist? What is right? What is wrong?
Get the idea?
Most people have a problem with the question “Does God exist?” but what’s so wrong with asking that question? If you’ve never asked it and explored it for yourself, how do you know it’s true? If you’ve never asked what is right and what is wrong, how do you determine what is right and wrong? What’s wrong with asking any of these questions?
The underside of Philosophy is that you never have a concrete answer. You don’t have hard facts. You do have something that you believe and (hopefully) a good argument to back it up. This is the other thing that people have a problem with: they get the idea that Philosophy promotes the idea that right and wrong can be determined by a person. But this isn’t true. Instead, Philosophy promotes the discussion of what right and wrong is. If a Philosopher tells you that right and wrong is whatever you deem right and wrong, then they are simply voicing their opinion, not the opinion of Philosophy itself.
Back to the original question, though. Is Christianity about asking questions, or seeking answers?
It seems to me that question is a little like splitting hairs. You can’t have answers without questions, and questions lead to answers. The true danger, I believe, comes when a person asks a question, gets an answer, and stops asking more questions.
We live in a society that says you ask a question, you get an answer, and you’re done. But in Jesus’ day questions were a way of exploring a subject further. You asked questions to better understand something. For example, I might ask if heaven exists. I get the answer ‘yes.’ So, how do I get there? Follow God and have a relationship with him. How does that look? How do you have a relationship with him? What does it mean to follow God? Follow the Commandments. Which ones? All of them. Is that possible? No. Then how do I get to heaven?
Get the idea of the thought process? It seems a bit confusing, but it makes a lot more sense if it’s played out in your head with your thoughts.
What we must do, as Christians, is submit to God by knowing that we can’t nor will we ever know it all. We must always ask questions. We can’t ever know God nor have all the answers. If we did, God would be obsolete. He wouldn’t be….God.
That’s why Christianity is about questions.
Questions that may or may not lead to answers.
One lady I talked to at church saw my Philosophy handbook and asked me if it was Christianity based. I said Philosophy was about questions, and Christianity was about questions, so yes.
She promptly told me Christianity was about answers and walked away.
I agree, but only slightly.
Philosophy asks the basic questions of life: What is the purpose? Does God exist? What is right? What is wrong?
Get the idea?
Most people have a problem with the question “Does God exist?” but what’s so wrong with asking that question? If you’ve never asked it and explored it for yourself, how do you know it’s true? If you’ve never asked what is right and what is wrong, how do you determine what is right and wrong? What’s wrong with asking any of these questions?
The underside of Philosophy is that you never have a concrete answer. You don’t have hard facts. You do have something that you believe and (hopefully) a good argument to back it up. This is the other thing that people have a problem with: they get the idea that Philosophy promotes the idea that right and wrong can be determined by a person. But this isn’t true. Instead, Philosophy promotes the discussion of what right and wrong is. If a Philosopher tells you that right and wrong is whatever you deem right and wrong, then they are simply voicing their opinion, not the opinion of Philosophy itself.
Back to the original question, though. Is Christianity about asking questions, or seeking answers?
It seems to me that question is a little like splitting hairs. You can’t have answers without questions, and questions lead to answers. The true danger, I believe, comes when a person asks a question, gets an answer, and stops asking more questions.
We live in a society that says you ask a question, you get an answer, and you’re done. But in Jesus’ day questions were a way of exploring a subject further. You asked questions to better understand something. For example, I might ask if heaven exists. I get the answer ‘yes.’ So, how do I get there? Follow God and have a relationship with him. How does that look? How do you have a relationship with him? What does it mean to follow God? Follow the Commandments. Which ones? All of them. Is that possible? No. Then how do I get to heaven?
Get the idea of the thought process? It seems a bit confusing, but it makes a lot more sense if it’s played out in your head with your thoughts.
What we must do, as Christians, is submit to God by knowing that we can’t nor will we ever know it all. We must always ask questions. We can’t ever know God nor have all the answers. If we did, God would be obsolete. He wouldn’t be….God.
That’s why Christianity is about questions.
Questions that may or may not lead to answers.
8.13.2007
Hiding
I recently heard a story of a husband who found out he was in debt. That’s right — he found out. His wife had a credit card that he didn’t know about.
Sounds pretty bad, uh? Woman spending money on shoes and such.
But what was she buying. Shoes? Clothes? Gourmet lunches?
Things her family needed, actually. As it turns out, fault lies on both sides of the line. He had a problem with money. He wouldn’t buy things for the family that they needed, things like school supplies. She, on the other hand, had a credit card that he didn’t know about.
One night he came home before her and opened a bank statement with her name on it. Needless to say, he found out, and wasn’t happy. She went to bed first that night (a highly peculiar act for her). It makes me think about what they did that went so wrong. What compelled her to hide things from her husband? Was she tricked by Satan? What did he do to lose her trust?
Why did things go so wrong?
My idea of a marriage is two people sharing everything with each other. Their meals, fights, finances, and sexuality are all shared between each other. Marriage is a process of continually SUBMITTING yourself to the other person, and dangerous things can happen when submitting is forgotten (or forsaken, for that matter).
So, what compelled her to lie (not sharing is a lie) to her husband? I think a large majority of the problem has to do with him. He is the leader of his family, but more than that, who’s fault is it if someone doesn’t want to approach him? His! If she fears approaching him, it is likely that he’s done something (or many things) in the past to discourage it. Maybe he has a habit of getting grumpy when finances are brought up. Maybe he has gotten angry — or even worse: ignored the situation.
It is the man’s job to submit himself to his wife and family by confronting problems head on, and providing for his family in all forms.
And her sin? Dishonesty, of course. But also lack of courage. Despite what people think, it is not just up to a man to keep a relationship together; it takes the work of both. And it’s not just the man that can lead; women can lead too. We are all human, and sometimes we need someone to help us along. For a man, that person should be his wife.
So much depends on submitting to one another. This couple didn’t do it, and now I have a feeling they’re going to pay for it. Submit to each other by being honest about your finances. It really is the best way.
Sounds pretty bad, uh? Woman spending money on shoes and such.
But what was she buying. Shoes? Clothes? Gourmet lunches?
Things her family needed, actually. As it turns out, fault lies on both sides of the line. He had a problem with money. He wouldn’t buy things for the family that they needed, things like school supplies. She, on the other hand, had a credit card that he didn’t know about.
One night he came home before her and opened a bank statement with her name on it. Needless to say, he found out, and wasn’t happy. She went to bed first that night (a highly peculiar act for her). It makes me think about what they did that went so wrong. What compelled her to hide things from her husband? Was she tricked by Satan? What did he do to lose her trust?
Why did things go so wrong?
My idea of a marriage is two people sharing everything with each other. Their meals, fights, finances, and sexuality are all shared between each other. Marriage is a process of continually SUBMITTING yourself to the other person, and dangerous things can happen when submitting is forgotten (or forsaken, for that matter).
So, what compelled her to lie (not sharing is a lie) to her husband? I think a large majority of the problem has to do with him. He is the leader of his family, but more than that, who’s fault is it if someone doesn’t want to approach him? His! If she fears approaching him, it is likely that he’s done something (or many things) in the past to discourage it. Maybe he has a habit of getting grumpy when finances are brought up. Maybe he has gotten angry — or even worse: ignored the situation.
It is the man’s job to submit himself to his wife and family by confronting problems head on, and providing for his family in all forms.
And her sin? Dishonesty, of course. But also lack of courage. Despite what people think, it is not just up to a man to keep a relationship together; it takes the work of both. And it’s not just the man that can lead; women can lead too. We are all human, and sometimes we need someone to help us along. For a man, that person should be his wife.
So much depends on submitting to one another. This couple didn’t do it, and now I have a feeling they’re going to pay for it. Submit to each other by being honest about your finances. It really is the best way.
8.10.2007
Giving it to the man?
There are things you can do with your money that go beyond tithing. Sponsoring a child through an organization is just one such example. It may also be buying food for a food bank, or helping a person out who needs it. One question that sticks in my mind, however, is can it take the place of tithing? If you were to ask my dad, he would say no, but then again, I’m not much for just believing what I’m told (sorry dad).
The purpose of the church, I think, is to be Christ on earth. I also believe that each and every one of us is the church. So, I’m the church, you’re the church. Get the idea? It’s not a group of three or more person, but a person by themselves.
If we think of it this way, then we should be Christ on earth (what a role to live up to, eh?). And if we’re the church, and we’re supposed to tithe money to the church, then who do we really give the money to?
The establishment?
Or us?
Or the food bank?
Or someone who needs help?
Way back in the beginning when tithing first started, it was created so that the priests would have something to live on (Numbers 18:24). The tithe was brought in cows and grains so that the Levites could eat. We have to remember, however, that the law was fulfilled (not destroyed but brought to full purpose) when Jesus came. Because of this, we also have to look at what happened in the New Testament concerning tithe.
Acts 4:34-35; For there was not a needy person among them, for all who were owners of land or houses would sell them and bring the proceeds of the sales and lay them at the apostles’ feet, and they would be distributed to each as any had need. I want to first note that it doesn’t say brought before the church, but brought before the apostles’ feet. Next, I want you to see that the stuff wasn’t just used to help out the apostles, but also people around that needed help. The fulfilled part of tithing is that it not only pays the priest, it also helps people out.
Now, apply that to today’s church. Tithe is meant to pay the staff, and also help the community.
I want you to know that I don’t know which way it should go. I’m not going to give you a definite answer and say, “No, you should tithe then help people out,” or vice-versa. I have given you information, and I think you should determine what you believe on your own.
My decision is to always tithe first. I do, and then I sponsor a kid, and then I buy food for the food bank. Again, is this the only or right way? No. I think the important thing is to remember that the church is meant to help people, and we are the church. So our money should be used to help people.
What good is it otherwise?
The purpose of the church, I think, is to be Christ on earth. I also believe that each and every one of us is the church. So, I’m the church, you’re the church. Get the idea? It’s not a group of three or more person, but a person by themselves.
If we think of it this way, then we should be Christ on earth (what a role to live up to, eh?). And if we’re the church, and we’re supposed to tithe money to the church, then who do we really give the money to?
The establishment?
Or us?
Or the food bank?
Or someone who needs help?
Way back in the beginning when tithing first started, it was created so that the priests would have something to live on (Numbers 18:24). The tithe was brought in cows and grains so that the Levites could eat. We have to remember, however, that the law was fulfilled (not destroyed but brought to full purpose) when Jesus came. Because of this, we also have to look at what happened in the New Testament concerning tithe.
Acts 4:34-35; For there was not a needy person among them, for all who were owners of land or houses would sell them and bring the proceeds of the sales and lay them at the apostles’ feet, and they would be distributed to each as any had need. I want to first note that it doesn’t say brought before the church, but brought before the apostles’ feet. Next, I want you to see that the stuff wasn’t just used to help out the apostles, but also people around that needed help. The fulfilled part of tithing is that it not only pays the priest, it also helps people out.
Now, apply that to today’s church. Tithe is meant to pay the staff, and also help the community.
I want you to know that I don’t know which way it should go. I’m not going to give you a definite answer and say, “No, you should tithe then help people out,” or vice-versa. I have given you information, and I think you should determine what you believe on your own.
My decision is to always tithe first. I do, and then I sponsor a kid, and then I buy food for the food bank. Again, is this the only or right way? No. I think the important thing is to remember that the church is meant to help people, and we are the church. So our money should be used to help people.
What good is it otherwise?
8.09.2007
Just work to get there, okay?
I was very very blessed to grow up in a family that taught me to tithe. I never really remember a time when I didn’t tithe my money. Not because I was forced to, but because it was grown into me. I understood the importance of it, and I did it.
A tithe, if you don’t know, is 10%. Often it is referred to as 10% of the money you make, but it can also mean time and resources. In this sense, we are talking about money.
I think it’s very important to tithe money. For me, the ideal tithe is to take 10% out of my check before I do anything else — even pay my bills. Work check, graduation money, gifts: 10%. It’s doesn’t really matter to me. I strive to tithe it all.
That raises a question: must you tithe to be a good Christian?
I believe (NOTE THE WORDS “I BELIEVE”, PLEASE) that you can tithe and be a bad Christian. A horrible one, in fact. Because if you tithe just because you have to, well, why are you tithing? Because you have to! God, I think, would rather have us tithe because we want to. He would rather have us not submit to him at all (by not tithing) rather than have us not submit but say we are (by tithing with an unworthy heart).
This doesn’t mean that I believe a person shouldn’t tithe; quite the contrary. I think a person should STRIVE to be able to tithe with a wanting heart. One of the authors of “Every Man’s Battle” (Fred, I think), says that he was once in the position of not tithing. He didn’t feel that he was financially stable enough to tithe a full10%. So he tithed 1%. After that he strove to tithe 2%, then 4%, so on and so forth. Now, he says, he tithes more than 10 %.
I think you will find in your walk with God that it’s not necessarily what you do, but what kind of heart you do it with. It’s this way with tithing. If you aren’t willing to do it, don’t! And don’t feel guilty about it; it’s wasted energy.
Just work to get there, okay?
A tithe, if you don’t know, is 10%. Often it is referred to as 10% of the money you make, but it can also mean time and resources. In this sense, we are talking about money.
I think it’s very important to tithe money. For me, the ideal tithe is to take 10% out of my check before I do anything else — even pay my bills. Work check, graduation money, gifts: 10%. It’s doesn’t really matter to me. I strive to tithe it all.
That raises a question: must you tithe to be a good Christian?
I believe (NOTE THE WORDS “I BELIEVE”, PLEASE) that you can tithe and be a bad Christian. A horrible one, in fact. Because if you tithe just because you have to, well, why are you tithing? Because you have to! God, I think, would rather have us tithe because we want to. He would rather have us not submit to him at all (by not tithing) rather than have us not submit but say we are (by tithing with an unworthy heart).
This doesn’t mean that I believe a person shouldn’t tithe; quite the contrary. I think a person should STRIVE to be able to tithe with a wanting heart. One of the authors of “Every Man’s Battle” (Fred, I think), says that he was once in the position of not tithing. He didn’t feel that he was financially stable enough to tithe a full10%. So he tithed 1%. After that he strove to tithe 2%, then 4%, so on and so forth. Now, he says, he tithes more than 10 %.
I think you will find in your walk with God that it’s not necessarily what you do, but what kind of heart you do it with. It’s this way with tithing. If you aren’t willing to do it, don’t! And don’t feel guilty about it; it’s wasted energy.
Just work to get there, okay?
8.08.2007
Giving Everything
I like Acts 2. Particularly verses 44 and 45. It tells us that everyone had everything in common — so much that people were selling their things and property just to help those around them who needed the financial stability. People selling an old field may not sound like much, but land was different during the time of this writing. Land was a form of power and prestige. Kind of like having a lot of money these days. To have a lot of land was to be a modern day Bill Gates.
It’s interesting that they are doing this. I remember a young rich man that once came to Christ and asked him what he had to do to get into heaven. Jesus eventually ended up telling him that he had to sell everything and follow Christ. If you had any doubts that Christ really meant it, here’s the proof he did.
I wonder how this works for me. I don’t make a lot of money that I can use to help others. I don’t have land to sell (come on; I’m a college student!). So how can I help? What can I do? What is my responsibility?
One reoccurring theme in the bible is that it doesn’t always matter what you do. It matters what kind of heart you do it with.
There are lots of organizations out there trying to collect money for people in other countries to be able to eat. I’m sure Jesus would be absolutely thrilled for us, as his followers, to help these organizations along. That is, only if we truly want to. Jesus doesn’t want us to do something half-heartedly. If we do something, he wants us to do it ALL THE WAY. The same goes for tithe, talent, and time. God says that it’s better for us to not do something then to do it half heartedly.
“And the Lord said to me, ‘Faithless Israel has proved herself more righteous than treacherous Judah.” Jeremiah 3:11. Jesus says this because he would rather have people ignore him and be honest about it (Israel) than have people ignore him and still pretend to be a follower (Judah). God does not like hypocrites.
And here’s why: if you’re not doing something (anything) out of the wanting of your heart, then there’s no love involved. You’re not truly submitting to the person (or people) you’re helping.
And submitting is the key. To everything.
So, the next couple days we’ll talk about some very specific ways of submitting financially.
Until then, HOW DO YOU SUBMIT, TODAY…
It’s interesting that they are doing this. I remember a young rich man that once came to Christ and asked him what he had to do to get into heaven. Jesus eventually ended up telling him that he had to sell everything and follow Christ. If you had any doubts that Christ really meant it, here’s the proof he did.
I wonder how this works for me. I don’t make a lot of money that I can use to help others. I don’t have land to sell (come on; I’m a college student!). So how can I help? What can I do? What is my responsibility?
One reoccurring theme in the bible is that it doesn’t always matter what you do. It matters what kind of heart you do it with.
There are lots of organizations out there trying to collect money for people in other countries to be able to eat. I’m sure Jesus would be absolutely thrilled for us, as his followers, to help these organizations along. That is, only if we truly want to. Jesus doesn’t want us to do something half-heartedly. If we do something, he wants us to do it ALL THE WAY. The same goes for tithe, talent, and time. God says that it’s better for us to not do something then to do it half heartedly.
“And the Lord said to me, ‘Faithless Israel has proved herself more righteous than treacherous Judah.” Jeremiah 3:11. Jesus says this because he would rather have people ignore him and be honest about it (Israel) than have people ignore him and still pretend to be a follower (Judah). God does not like hypocrites.
And here’s why: if you’re not doing something (anything) out of the wanting of your heart, then there’s no love involved. You’re not truly submitting to the person (or people) you’re helping.
And submitting is the key. To everything.
So, the next couple days we’ll talk about some very specific ways of submitting financially.
Until then, HOW DO YOU SUBMIT, TODAY…
8.07.2007
You're not Christian! Part 2
I just had a great realization: Jesus never led a person through a prayer to accept him as the savior. In fact, the only prayer he specifically led was the Lord’s Prayer (the prayer the Lord would want), and it didn’t mention people accepting him.
How odd.
Not that it’s wrong. We’ve already discussed all that. The real question is where does Agape fit? This is, after all, a page about Liquid Agape.
Here’s the point: you can lead a person to Christ in more than one way.
Prayer.
Actions.
Teaching.
Loving.
Growing.
Planting.
Watering.
They all work. You don’t have to help a person pray to introduce them to Christ. You can do it while YOU speak to THEM. We have Christ inside of us.
Crushes happen in high school (and in life in general). What if your friend had a crush on a certain person? If you found out that person crushed them back, would you share the news with your friend? Of course!
Because you love them and want the best for them.
It’s the same with Christ. Everyone around us who doesn’t know him is searching for him. Somewhere inside of them they have this longing for…someone. And it’s Christ. Would it be loving to hold Christ from them if you knew he was what they were looking for? I don’t think so.
There are many ways to lead a person to Christ. Mine is acting, teaching, loving. Others may be praying. I don’t know. What I do know is that any act is an act of love. I refuse to accept the lie that if I don’t lead someone through a prayer, I’m not Christian. That’s unloving, and definitely not Agape.
The question is this: how do YOU submit to people around you? Prayer? Actions? Teaching?
Or, rather, are you submitting at all?
Think on it, okay?
How odd.
Not that it’s wrong. We’ve already discussed all that. The real question is where does Agape fit? This is, after all, a page about Liquid Agape.
Here’s the point: you can lead a person to Christ in more than one way.
Prayer.
Actions.
Teaching.
Loving.
Growing.
Planting.
Watering.
They all work. You don’t have to help a person pray to introduce them to Christ. You can do it while YOU speak to THEM. We have Christ inside of us.
Crushes happen in high school (and in life in general). What if your friend had a crush on a certain person? If you found out that person crushed them back, would you share the news with your friend? Of course!
Because you love them and want the best for them.
It’s the same with Christ. Everyone around us who doesn’t know him is searching for him. Somewhere inside of them they have this longing for…someone. And it’s Christ. Would it be loving to hold Christ from them if you knew he was what they were looking for? I don’t think so.
There are many ways to lead a person to Christ. Mine is acting, teaching, loving. Others may be praying. I don’t know. What I do know is that any act is an act of love. I refuse to accept the lie that if I don’t lead someone through a prayer, I’m not Christian. That’s unloving, and definitely not Agape.
The question is this: how do YOU submit to people around you? Prayer? Actions? Teaching?
Or, rather, are you submitting at all?
Think on it, okay?
8.06.2007
You're not Christian! Part 1
For years I cringed when I heard, “There’s something wrong with you if you’ve never led someone through a prayer and helped them accept Christ!” You see, I’ve never done that. And I thought there was something wrong with me because of it.
But I’ve just discovered, 30 seconds ago, that’s untrue.
You don’t have to lead someone through the LORD’S PRAYER to be deemed a follower of Christ. In fact, if that’s all you do, you’re quite wrong.
In 1 Corinthians 3, Paul tells us that “I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing growth.” If you read the whole passage, you discover that Paul is talking about spiritual growth: from the beginning (planting), to the happening (growing). You also discover that there wasn’t just one person; all three of them took part in it (the growth of the church). The same principle applies in life.
A person isn’t saved through the works of one person, but through the works of many.
Which raises a question: shouldn’t I still be leading people through a prayer some of the time?
I suppose it’s possible, but let’s look at another passage: “And he gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints or the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ.” (Ephesians 4:11-12).
I think it’s very possible that some people are going to be better at leading people through a prayer, while others are going to be better at teaching Christians a deeper walk. Is it possible that a teacher can do a prayer leading session? Sure. But that doesn’t mean it has to be every single person they run into (or even once in a lifetime) for them to be proclaimed a Christian.
I’ve never led a person to Christ.
I should clarify (sorry): I’ve never led a person through a prayer accepting Christ. But I’ve led them to Christ, through my actions. I’m not a person that’s going to stand up and say “You need to, you need to, you need to!” I say, with my actions, “This is what you get, if you do this.”
And that’s important.
Imagine if everyone in a company went out and recruited salesmen for the company. Who would teach the salesmen? Who would do the payroll? Who would handle Customer Service? Who would ship the products?
How would anything get done?
So it is in the church: if everyone is leading someone through a prayer, who’s doing the teaching?
After you’ve played “Billy Graham” (who led many to Christ and who I respect greatly), who’s going to help them on the walk?
Me. I’m that kind of person.
And it’s my passion. I love it. Teaching is my gift. I don’t lead through a prayer; I teach.
How does this tie into Agape? Guess you’ll have to read tomorrow to find out…
All for now!
But I’ve just discovered, 30 seconds ago, that’s untrue.
You don’t have to lead someone through the LORD’S PRAYER to be deemed a follower of Christ. In fact, if that’s all you do, you’re quite wrong.
In 1 Corinthians 3, Paul tells us that “I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing growth.” If you read the whole passage, you discover that Paul is talking about spiritual growth: from the beginning (planting), to the happening (growing). You also discover that there wasn’t just one person; all three of them took part in it (the growth of the church). The same principle applies in life.
A person isn’t saved through the works of one person, but through the works of many.
Which raises a question: shouldn’t I still be leading people through a prayer some of the time?
I suppose it’s possible, but let’s look at another passage: “And he gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints or the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ.” (Ephesians 4:11-12).
I think it’s very possible that some people are going to be better at leading people through a prayer, while others are going to be better at teaching Christians a deeper walk. Is it possible that a teacher can do a prayer leading session? Sure. But that doesn’t mean it has to be every single person they run into (or even once in a lifetime) for them to be proclaimed a Christian.
I’ve never led a person to Christ.
I should clarify (sorry): I’ve never led a person through a prayer accepting Christ. But I’ve led them to Christ, through my actions. I’m not a person that’s going to stand up and say “You need to, you need to, you need to!” I say, with my actions, “This is what you get, if you do this.”
And that’s important.
Imagine if everyone in a company went out and recruited salesmen for the company. Who would teach the salesmen? Who would do the payroll? Who would handle Customer Service? Who would ship the products?
How would anything get done?
So it is in the church: if everyone is leading someone through a prayer, who’s doing the teaching?
After you’ve played “Billy Graham” (who led many to Christ and who I respect greatly), who’s going to help them on the walk?
Me. I’m that kind of person.
And it’s my passion. I love it. Teaching is my gift. I don’t lead through a prayer; I teach.
How does this tie into Agape? Guess you’ll have to read tomorrow to find out…
All for now!
8.04.2007
Agape, and the Lack Thereof
Some people will say that you can’t love money because it’s a thing. While they are well meaning it what they say, I believe they are wrong. We established weeks earlier that Agape is not just known as the perfect love of God, but that it can also be a love that is completely committed to something. If someone were to choose money over God, they would Agape money because they are more committed to it than God and it has become their master.
Strangely, there’s a bible story about this exact scenario. If you read Acts 5:1-11, you learn about Sapphira and Ananias. They sold one of their fields and decided to give some of their money to God (the church). They didn’t want to give all of the money from the sell away, which was an okay thing (verse 4). When they took the money and laid it before Peter’s feet, though, they said that it was the full amount. They lied. They did not wish to look greedy by withholding some of the money.
At that point in time, money became their master.
They began to love money more than they loved God. They Agaped money.
There are consequences for everything, and the consequence for their lie was death (physical-in-the-grave death). This has something to say for us. While I don’t believe I’m going to die if I don’t tithe a full 10% (which I claim to), I do believe that a lie like this can kill us spiritually. Because we tell God that we don’t want to tell him the truth, we can’t be with him. This happened first in Genesis chapter 3.
The story about Sapphira and Ananias is extremely familiar, isn’t it? It is, in essence, The Fall played out again. This is to show us that The Fall didn’t just happen once; it happens again and again and again. And the consequence is still death.
Here we are taught that you can love things and have bad consequences, but we are also being taught something else. We are being taught about the love that doesn’t exist. The love that Sapphira and Ananias are NOT showing. What about that?
In some sense or another I think I’ve always thought that in order to love the ones around me I need to protect them from who I really am. I couldn’t show them my filthiness — whether it was the filthiness of greed, pride, or envy (or something else!). And that’s the stance that Sapphira and Ananias took; they couldn’t show how they really wanted to keep their money, so they didn’t.
By trying to love and protect the ones around them, they really hurt them.
You can’t love the people around you and lie to them at the same time. Not purposefully, at least. If you lie to somebody you love, you have revoked that love (at that moment in time). That love can be restored, but when you lie it is revoked.
Why is this? Because you love whatever sin you are trying to hide, and if you love it, you can’t love the people around you. Jesus says that you can’t serve two masters. In other words, you can’t love both sin and people. It’s impossible, he says.
Please consider what or who you really love. It could make the difference in your friendships, relationships, spiritual life, and physical life. I urge you to take capture of every thought and consider what it means. Is it pointing toward a life of loving people or sin? A life of loving God or things? Please, take a serious look at your life; it’s important.
Strangely, there’s a bible story about this exact scenario. If you read Acts 5:1-11, you learn about Sapphira and Ananias. They sold one of their fields and decided to give some of their money to God (the church). They didn’t want to give all of the money from the sell away, which was an okay thing (verse 4). When they took the money and laid it before Peter’s feet, though, they said that it was the full amount. They lied. They did not wish to look greedy by withholding some of the money.
At that point in time, money became their master.
They began to love money more than they loved God. They Agaped money.
There are consequences for everything, and the consequence for their lie was death (physical-in-the-grave death). This has something to say for us. While I don’t believe I’m going to die if I don’t tithe a full 10% (which I claim to), I do believe that a lie like this can kill us spiritually. Because we tell God that we don’t want to tell him the truth, we can’t be with him. This happened first in Genesis chapter 3.
The story about Sapphira and Ananias is extremely familiar, isn’t it? It is, in essence, The Fall played out again. This is to show us that The Fall didn’t just happen once; it happens again and again and again. And the consequence is still death.
Here we are taught that you can love things and have bad consequences, but we are also being taught something else. We are being taught about the love that doesn’t exist. The love that Sapphira and Ananias are NOT showing. What about that?
In some sense or another I think I’ve always thought that in order to love the ones around me I need to protect them from who I really am. I couldn’t show them my filthiness — whether it was the filthiness of greed, pride, or envy (or something else!). And that’s the stance that Sapphira and Ananias took; they couldn’t show how they really wanted to keep their money, so they didn’t.
By trying to love and protect the ones around them, they really hurt them.
You can’t love the people around you and lie to them at the same time. Not purposefully, at least. If you lie to somebody you love, you have revoked that love (at that moment in time). That love can be restored, but when you lie it is revoked.
Why is this? Because you love whatever sin you are trying to hide, and if you love it, you can’t love the people around you. Jesus says that you can’t serve two masters. In other words, you can’t love both sin and people. It’s impossible, he says.
Please consider what or who you really love. It could make the difference in your friendships, relationships, spiritual life, and physical life. I urge you to take capture of every thought and consider what it means. Is it pointing toward a life of loving people or sin? A life of loving God or things? Please, take a serious look at your life; it’s important.
8.03.2007
Just a Well woman
A woman at a well. Sounds simple enough, huh? What if that woman was a known drug dealer and prostitute? Would you talk to her?
No?
Jesus would. In fact, he did. Turn your Bible to John 4 and read verses 1-26.
In this passage Jesus speaks to a Samaritan woman. The Samaritans were shunned by the Jews. Jews believed that their religion was the one true religion of the day, while the Samaritans thought that they had the one true religion of the day (gee, where have I heard that before?). The pretext: it wasn’t common for a Jew (Jesus) to talk to a Samaritan (the woman).
And yet, Jesus offers her eternal life.
Wait. He’s not saying Samaritans do have the true religion, is he? He’s not denouncing his own religion, is he?
Let’s throw down all religious pretexts right now. Let’s assume that neither religion is completely right, but neither is completely wrong. In fact, let’s assume that Jesus didn’t come to start a religion (crazy thought, eh?). Let’s assume that he came to give eternal life, a life more full (John 10:10). If we look at it this way we see Jesus’ gesture as an act of love. We see Jesus offering life (and life to the full) to a woman that his counterparts shun. We see him doing the unthinkable.
How does he do it? Splash holy water on her? Invite her to a church service? Tell her she’s wrong?
None of those things, actually. He works from where she is. He acknowledges her life and her sin. He acknowledges what she believes (and doesn’t cut it down). He also acknowledges that she’s missing something. A piece to the puzzle. But the key thing is he meets her where she is. He doesn’t ask her to go anywhere before he offers life (eternal life) to her. He gives (such an interesting word “give.” It suggests it’s free) it to her. Nothing needed; just accept it, he says.
This is love.
Love (like life) to the fullest:
To share with someone the message of Christ without requiring them to move. To tell them they can be saved by just accepting it.
Why is that Agape?
Because you have to humble yourself. You have to submit (that word again…) to the fact that you are not any better than the person you’re talking to. We have done nothing to earn our salvation, our life, and neither do the people we share the gospel with.
It is love because we tell the person that we are no better than them.
It is, after all, what Jesus says in the passage. Is it not?
No?
Jesus would. In fact, he did. Turn your Bible to John 4 and read verses 1-26.
In this passage Jesus speaks to a Samaritan woman. The Samaritans were shunned by the Jews. Jews believed that their religion was the one true religion of the day, while the Samaritans thought that they had the one true religion of the day (gee, where have I heard that before?). The pretext: it wasn’t common for a Jew (Jesus) to talk to a Samaritan (the woman).
And yet, Jesus offers her eternal life.
Wait. He’s not saying Samaritans do have the true religion, is he? He’s not denouncing his own religion, is he?
Let’s throw down all religious pretexts right now. Let’s assume that neither religion is completely right, but neither is completely wrong. In fact, let’s assume that Jesus didn’t come to start a religion (crazy thought, eh?). Let’s assume that he came to give eternal life, a life more full (John 10:10). If we look at it this way we see Jesus’ gesture as an act of love. We see Jesus offering life (and life to the full) to a woman that his counterparts shun. We see him doing the unthinkable.
How does he do it? Splash holy water on her? Invite her to a church service? Tell her she’s wrong?
None of those things, actually. He works from where she is. He acknowledges her life and her sin. He acknowledges what she believes (and doesn’t cut it down). He also acknowledges that she’s missing something. A piece to the puzzle. But the key thing is he meets her where she is. He doesn’t ask her to go anywhere before he offers life (eternal life) to her. He gives (such an interesting word “give.” It suggests it’s free) it to her. Nothing needed; just accept it, he says.
This is love.
Love (like life) to the fullest:
To share with someone the message of Christ without requiring them to move. To tell them they can be saved by just accepting it.
Why is that Agape?
Because you have to humble yourself. You have to submit (that word again…) to the fact that you are not any better than the person you’re talking to. We have done nothing to earn our salvation, our life, and neither do the people we share the gospel with.
It is love because we tell the person that we are no better than them.
It is, after all, what Jesus says in the passage. Is it not?
8.01.2007
Family and Agape Part 2
In Mark chapter 3, Jesus seems to insult his family once again. When he is told that his mother and brothers are amongst him, he says, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” He follows this by, “The person who obeys God's will is my brother and sister and mother.” Isn’t that quite a slam on the family?
Not really, as it turns out, but yes (confused yet?). What Jesus was saying was that his family ranges farther than those who he is related to by blood. He was saying, “Yeah, these guys are my family, but what about the rest of you?”
Are you in God’s family?
Cause if so, you have to act like it.
Jesus loved his family, yes, but he loved his spiritual family too. And he calls us to do the same.
Let’s talk about that person sitting in the pew next to you. Who are they? Oh, okay, you know them? Let’s go down a little further. What about the person halfway across the church, way in back? Who are they?
YOU DON’T KNOW?!?!
Shame on you, then. And shame on me, because neither do I.
Jesus calls us to love our family, our spiritual family, but we can’t really do that unless we know them. In our culture we have this idea that we can love just by saying so, or feeling something. But love is explicitly an action — an action we mean. In order to love the person next to us, we have to do something for them.
We have to (dare I say it?) submit to them. To each other.
Submit to each other out of reverence for Christ Ephesians 5:21
There are some people in my church who are hard of hearing. They literally can’t hear unless there’s a mike on the person speaking, and sometimes not even then. And there are some people in my church who don’t like wearing mikes. But when our sound person makes sure that mikes are working and everyone who needs to uses one, he is submitting himself to the people who can’t hear.
Sounds pretty simple, doesn’t it? That’s the idea. We don’t submit to so that we’re fixing everybodys problems or wearing ourselves down. We do it so that the person’s life is made that little bit more better.
May you come to realize that submitting to someone is doing good for them. And my you realize that submission is something small and seemingly insignificant, but it makes their lives that much better.
Not really, as it turns out, but yes (confused yet?). What Jesus was saying was that his family ranges farther than those who he is related to by blood. He was saying, “Yeah, these guys are my family, but what about the rest of you?”
Are you in God’s family?
Cause if so, you have to act like it.
Jesus loved his family, yes, but he loved his spiritual family too. And he calls us to do the same.
Let’s talk about that person sitting in the pew next to you. Who are they? Oh, okay, you know them? Let’s go down a little further. What about the person halfway across the church, way in back? Who are they?
YOU DON’T KNOW?!?!
Shame on you, then. And shame on me, because neither do I.
Jesus calls us to love our family, our spiritual family, but we can’t really do that unless we know them. In our culture we have this idea that we can love just by saying so, or feeling something. But love is explicitly an action — an action we mean. In order to love the person next to us, we have to do something for them.
We have to (dare I say it?) submit to them. To each other.
Submit to each other out of reverence for Christ Ephesians 5:21
There are some people in my church who are hard of hearing. They literally can’t hear unless there’s a mike on the person speaking, and sometimes not even then. And there are some people in my church who don’t like wearing mikes. But when our sound person makes sure that mikes are working and everyone who needs to uses one, he is submitting himself to the people who can’t hear.
Sounds pretty simple, doesn’t it? That’s the idea. We don’t submit to so that we’re fixing everybodys problems or wearing ourselves down. We do it so that the person’s life is made that little bit more better.
May you come to realize that submitting to someone is doing good for them. And my you realize that submission is something small and seemingly insignificant, but it makes their lives that much better.
7.31.2007
Family and Agape Part 1
In Luke chapter 2 we read that Jesus' parents were loking for him. They went to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover, and about a day into the return journey they found he was gone. It took them three days total to find Jesus. He was in the Temple, and when his mother told him how scared they were, he replied,
"Why is it that you were looking for me? Did you not know that I had to be in my Father's house?"
That doesn't sound very respectful or loving, does it? That's why we can learn a very important lesson from this. Jesus had desire. He said, "I HAD to be in my Father's house." It wasn't just that he wanted to be there; he needed to be there. That's how much he loved God. That's how much he desired God.
We often have pounded into our heads that family is everything. Family is number 1. But God says he is number 1, and Jesus felt this dedication. This is one of the main characteristics of Agape: dedication. If you Agape something, you are dedicated to it.
Desire and Dedication are two things essential to love in any life. If you don't desire something, you can't love it. And if you can't dedicate yourself to something, you can't love it either. It's a two way street.
And so, I have to ask, what do you Desire? What are you Dedicated to? What do you Agape?
Think about it seriously. It's no small matter. And remember that you can Agape more than one thing at a time. Consider if the things you Agape are worth it. Are they worth your time? Do you have a real desire, or a fake desire? Is being dedicated to them draining you, or filling you up? All of them are important questions with important answers.
And remember that God wants to be on that list--at the very top, in fact.
"Why is it that you were looking for me? Did you not know that I had to be in my Father's house?"
That doesn't sound very respectful or loving, does it? That's why we can learn a very important lesson from this. Jesus had desire. He said, "I HAD to be in my Father's house." It wasn't just that he wanted to be there; he needed to be there. That's how much he loved God. That's how much he desired God.
We often have pounded into our heads that family is everything. Family is number 1. But God says he is number 1, and Jesus felt this dedication. This is one of the main characteristics of Agape: dedication. If you Agape something, you are dedicated to it.
Desire and Dedication are two things essential to love in any life. If you don't desire something, you can't love it. And if you can't dedicate yourself to something, you can't love it either. It's a two way street.
And so, I have to ask, what do you Desire? What are you Dedicated to? What do you Agape?
Think about it seriously. It's no small matter. And remember that you can Agape more than one thing at a time. Consider if the things you Agape are worth it. Are they worth your time? Do you have a real desire, or a fake desire? Is being dedicated to them draining you, or filling you up? All of them are important questions with important answers.
And remember that God wants to be on that list--at the very top, in fact.
7.30.2007
Moving Forward
I wanted to clear up the whole sexual end of Agape because that's where my mind was. That's what I, as a guy who has dated for three years, think about. That's what I WAS concerned with. And now I'm through it. People, we are on to bigger and better things. Yes, the sexual life and Agape are truly wonderful things, but that's not it. There's a whole life we should be living that we may or may not be living. This is what we are going to explore, in depth, indefinitely. Through the next teachings we are going to study the Bible like never before (or at least I'm going to). It's going to be a time of challenge and struggle. I want to let you know that I am not an authority of any of this. I've never had an Bible School. I've never been officially taught.
And so, I take the right to change my opinion. That's the only way I can grow. If I say something now and then change it in a future post, please accept me for who I am: human. I learn, discover, and change my mind accordingly. We can only hope that God is involved in all processes (and I pray so).
God loves people. No matter what you accept, you have to accept that, and if you don't, you have to at least consider it as a fact. He loves us with an undying love. It is a love that people have compared to large bodies of water and gigantic amounts of space. It's a love that nobody can fully comprehend. But we can know it.
There's a very big difference between knowing something and comprehending it. I know my girlfriend on a very personal basis, but I will never be able to fully comprehend her. I can't one day get to the bottom of her and decided there's nothing left for me to understand. It's physically impossible.
It's the same way with God's love. We can know it, but we can't comprehend it.
I can't comprehend why God loves me. I'm a masturbating-lying-selfish-want-things-for-myself-but-don't-want-to-appear-that-way kind of person, but God still loves me. It doesn't matter if I'm trying to fix these things or not; he still loves me. I could jump off a bridge in hopes of dying; his love for me would still exist. Yelling and cursing his name won't make it go away.
HE LOVES ME.
And, HE LOVES YOU.
The love he has for me he also has for you. That's how it works: it's there for everyone.
He loves us.
It is with this in mind that we begin our journey.
Please, join me...
And so, I take the right to change my opinion. That's the only way I can grow. If I say something now and then change it in a future post, please accept me for who I am: human. I learn, discover, and change my mind accordingly. We can only hope that God is involved in all processes (and I pray so).
God loves people. No matter what you accept, you have to accept that, and if you don't, you have to at least consider it as a fact. He loves us with an undying love. It is a love that people have compared to large bodies of water and gigantic amounts of space. It's a love that nobody can fully comprehend. But we can know it.
There's a very big difference between knowing something and comprehending it. I know my girlfriend on a very personal basis, but I will never be able to fully comprehend her. I can't one day get to the bottom of her and decided there's nothing left for me to understand. It's physically impossible.
It's the same way with God's love. We can know it, but we can't comprehend it.
I can't comprehend why God loves me. I'm a masturbating-lying-selfish-want-things-for-myself-but-don't-want-to-appear-that-way kind of person, but God still loves me. It doesn't matter if I'm trying to fix these things or not; he still loves me. I could jump off a bridge in hopes of dying; his love for me would still exist. Yelling and cursing his name won't make it go away.
HE LOVES ME.
And, HE LOVES YOU.
The love he has for me he also has for you. That's how it works: it's there for everyone.
He loves us.
It is with this in mind that we begin our journey.
Please, join me...
7.28.2007
Questions
We've reached the end of our journey through the land of Eros, so we're going to move on. But before we do, I want us all (me included) to consider some questions. I actually suggest that you print them off and write an answer to them (I am). If you feel so brave, you can even e mail your answers to me. I'll switch with you and you can view mine ;)
(NOTE: Because I am taking time with the questions, and hoping you'll do the same, I will not post on Sunday the 29th. Posts will continue on Monday the 30th).
1) WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AGAPE AND EROS?
2) DO YOU LOVE YOUR SPOUSE/BOYFRIEND WITH EROS AS WELL AS AGAPE?
3) HOW?
4) IS THERE A BETTER WAY YOU COULD SHOW BOTH OF THEM?
5) DO YOU HAVE A SEXUAL SIN YOU NEED TO OVERCOME?
6) WHAT IS IT AND HOW DO YOU OVERCOME IT?
7) COME TO THINK OF IT, WHAT DOES GOD SAY ABOUT IT?
8) WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR YOU TO BARE YOUR SOUL TO THE ONE YOU LOVE?
9) THINK ABOUT THE WORD SUBMIT. DO YOU PRACTICE IT GOD'S WAY?
10) WHAT IS GOD'S WAY?
11) CONSIDER SEX. DO YOU HAVE IT WITH A PURE SOUL?
12) ARE YOUR KISSES PURE?
13) YOUR EYES?
14) WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE AND ACT PURE?
15) HOW DO YOU SHOW THE ONE YOU LOVE AGAPE AND EROS, SIMULTANEOUSLY?
15) AFTER YOU'VE ANSWERED THAT ONE: HOW DO YOU SHOW THE ONE YOU LOVE AGAPE AND EROS, SIMULTANEOUSLY? (Yes, it's the same one....think about it some more).
(NOTE: Because I am taking time with the questions, and hoping you'll do the same, I will not post on Sunday the 29th. Posts will continue on Monday the 30th).
1) WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AGAPE AND EROS?
2) DO YOU LOVE YOUR SPOUSE/BOYFRIEND WITH EROS AS WELL AS AGAPE?
3) HOW?
4) IS THERE A BETTER WAY YOU COULD SHOW BOTH OF THEM?
5) DO YOU HAVE A SEXUAL SIN YOU NEED TO OVERCOME?
6) WHAT IS IT AND HOW DO YOU OVERCOME IT?
7) COME TO THINK OF IT, WHAT DOES GOD SAY ABOUT IT?
8) WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR YOU TO BARE YOUR SOUL TO THE ONE YOU LOVE?
9) THINK ABOUT THE WORD SUBMIT. DO YOU PRACTICE IT GOD'S WAY?
10) WHAT IS GOD'S WAY?
11) CONSIDER SEX. DO YOU HAVE IT WITH A PURE SOUL?
12) ARE YOUR KISSES PURE?
13) YOUR EYES?
14) WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE AND ACT PURE?
15) HOW DO YOU SHOW THE ONE YOU LOVE AGAPE AND EROS, SIMULTANEOUSLY?
15) AFTER YOU'VE ANSWERED THAT ONE: HOW DO YOU SHOW THE ONE YOU LOVE AGAPE AND EROS, SIMULTANEOUSLY? (Yes, it's the same one....think about it some more).
7.27.2007
Bedroom Talk
Let's talk about sex and Agape.
Yup, sex talk from a virgin. Great, isn't it?
I think too many people believe that once you get married, the bedroom is a playground allowing anything (note: I'm not even touching condoms and birth control). But is this true? Is this how God sees it?
What does God have to say about sex and sexuality, especially in connection with Agape?
In order to help answer these questions, I'll be referring to a previously written post (Fuck vs. Love). I would like to note that I will now not type the "F" word again; I will make illusions to it (yes, I have a problem saying and/or typing that word; words are powerful).
We discussed earlier that submission is the key to good Eros, to essentially have union with a person rather than just having sex with them. I think this is also the key here. Just because you're married doesn't mean you're always going to treat your spouse as the person they deserve. Fights happen, and mean things are said. Things are fixed afterwards, but that doesn't change the fact that it happened.
The same thing goes for sex. It is possible to treat your spouse as an object when having sex with them rather than the special person they are. It is possible to decide to take what is wanted, rather than to give what is needed.
SUBMISSION IN THE BEDROOM
I believe certain sexual acts are bad no matter what. For example, I'm never going to have sex with my wife without being able to see her eyes. I want us to be able to see into each other's soul, and I want her to feel the same way. The additional side affect to this is that our soul has to be "pure" for us to have sex, otherwise the other person will know. We have to be having sex out of love for one another.
This is where Agape comes in. When having sex, I believe Agape is as much involved as Eros. Why? Because it's not a true sexual union unless you love the person completely for who they are. Sex is as much about pro-creation and union as it is about giving yourself up for that person. That's what sex is: giving yourself up for the person.
THE QUESTION
Sex is not a subject that I am experienced in--I really don't know what to type from here. I do want to stress, though, that I do not believe everything should be done in the bedroom. Paul says that everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Please, consider this when you have sex. Yeah, you can do it, but is it really the best for the two of you?
How do you show YOUR partner Agape in the bedroom?
How do YOU submit to THEM?
Yup, sex talk from a virgin. Great, isn't it?
I think too many people believe that once you get married, the bedroom is a playground allowing anything (note: I'm not even touching condoms and birth control). But is this true? Is this how God sees it?
What does God have to say about sex and sexuality, especially in connection with Agape?
In order to help answer these questions, I'll be referring to a previously written post (Fuck vs. Love). I would like to note that I will now not type the "F" word again; I will make illusions to it (yes, I have a problem saying and/or typing that word; words are powerful).
We discussed earlier that submission is the key to good Eros, to essentially have union with a person rather than just having sex with them. I think this is also the key here. Just because you're married doesn't mean you're always going to treat your spouse as the person they deserve. Fights happen, and mean things are said. Things are fixed afterwards, but that doesn't change the fact that it happened.
The same thing goes for sex. It is possible to treat your spouse as an object when having sex with them rather than the special person they are. It is possible to decide to take what is wanted, rather than to give what is needed.
SUBMISSION IN THE BEDROOM
I believe certain sexual acts are bad no matter what. For example, I'm never going to have sex with my wife without being able to see her eyes. I want us to be able to see into each other's soul, and I want her to feel the same way. The additional side affect to this is that our soul has to be "pure" for us to have sex, otherwise the other person will know. We have to be having sex out of love for one another.
This is where Agape comes in. When having sex, I believe Agape is as much involved as Eros. Why? Because it's not a true sexual union unless you love the person completely for who they are. Sex is as much about pro-creation and union as it is about giving yourself up for that person. That's what sex is: giving yourself up for the person.
THE QUESTION
Sex is not a subject that I am experienced in--I really don't know what to type from here. I do want to stress, though, that I do not believe everything should be done in the bedroom. Paul says that everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Please, consider this when you have sex. Yeah, you can do it, but is it really the best for the two of you?
How do you show YOUR partner Agape in the bedroom?
How do YOU submit to THEM?
7.25.2007
Baring the Soul
Katie is Catholic. I am not. If you know anything about religion, you know this could be a recipe for disaster, especially when you throw in that she's a devout Catholic and I'm a devout Christian (no, I'm not saying she's not Christian--I'm being technical). She believes the Catholic Church is the One True Church; I believe all Churches that follow God are God's Churches. See where things could go really wrong in our relationship?
Near the beginning of our relationship I started praying for God to teach me how to love (agape) Katie. I knew that I couldn't do it alone (not that she's not lovable...). To be able to do that though, God taught us that we also have to learn to be honest with each other. We began asking each other "What are you thinking about?" The most common answer was "I'm tired."
See that getting anywhere?
But, you know, it did.
Today we are still struggling with the answer "I'm tired," but it's getting better. In fact, we were able to sit down and bare our souls to each other.
Have you ever done that? Bare your soul?
It's when you sit down and tell the person you're with everything you feel, regardless of how it may affect them. And they do the same for you. It may sound like I'm creating a way for me to say mean things to people, but I'm not. I'm talking about opening yourself up, not tearing others down.
Near the beginning of our relationship I started praying for God to teach me how to love (agape) Katie. I knew that I couldn't do it alone (not that she's not lovable...). To be able to do that though, God taught us that we also have to learn to be honest with each other. We began asking each other "What are you thinking about?" The most common answer was "I'm tired."
See that getting anywhere?
But, you know, it did.
Today we are still struggling with the answer "I'm tired," but it's getting better. In fact, we were able to sit down and bare our souls to each other.
Have you ever done that? Bare your soul?
It's when you sit down and tell the person you're with everything you feel, regardless of how it may affect them. And they do the same for you. It may sound like I'm creating a way for me to say mean things to people, but I'm not. I'm talking about opening yourself up, not tearing others down.
Friday night a friend of mine taught me the perfect way to communicate that I am shocked I haven't learned before. She said, "Start with 'When you...I feel.' " (Note of disclaimer: This is the exact quote. I would rather start with "I feel" so that it doesn't point fingers at the other person). I was absolutely amazed at her advice. She's right. These are the words one uses when baring their soul.
Back to Katie and me baring our souls: It was the most humbling experience. But it was what happened afterwards that brings tears to my eyes.
She called me, crying. She couldn't figure out some college thing. Now see, I was with my family that was in town visiting, and I had only one day to see them. But I knew something was up (could've been the crying...), so I stepped out onto the porch. I asked her: do you need me?
She said YES!
I was completely amazed that she still loved me and NEEDED me after we showed each other our deepest beliefs. I was completely amazed that I still NEEDED her.
We are taught that to need somebody is wrong, but why? I don't think it's so bad.
And as I sat in a chair next to her that evening, helping her at the computer, I realized how lucky I was to still be sitting next to her. It wouldn't have been hard for us to part ways; I could've been in another chair that evening instead of sharing one with her.
LIQUID AGAPE: the kind that runs through the viens.
(NOTE: I am NOT claiming that Katie and I always show AGAPE to each other or anyone else for that matter--especially me to myself (see previous post). I'm just pointing out one instance where we were able to show it to each other).
7.23.2007
My Confession
I have a confession to make. It is one that I am considering if I should state even as I write this.
Everyone has a problem. A struggle. A "thorn in the side," if you will. I am no different.
I say this with the hope that my friends can accept that "sin is sin, no matter what it is."
Last thing I want to say before I say it: I have only told one person this. EVER. (Besides God).
I have a problem with masturbation.
It looks like such an ugly word. I hate to even look at it. But it's the truth. I'm told it's the truth for more than just me, too. I'm told there are many out there who have the problem.
But it sure doesn't feel like it.
Now that the initial shock of saying it is over, I will tell you some back story. This very morning (Monday), I realized that it was a problem I was half ignoring. I was trying to fight it, but not with God's help. When in the car on the way to work it occurred to me that confession was needed. Not just confession to the one person I told, but confession to the world.
And so that's why I'm writing this. No other reason. I am now looking within myself to struggle out the problems of masturbation.
Why is it wrong?
What does God say?
How do I work through it?
How do I remove myself of this slave-driver?
These are the questions I ask. I must look within myself and to God. I've always been told it was wrong, and took it for granted. Now I intend to believe it.
I don't know how many people out there have the same problem, but I do have one thing to say: I feel your pain. If you've ever had to fight it, I know what it's like. I know what it's like to lay in bed and swing from one fence line to the other. I know what it's like to wake up, pissed at myself. I know what it's like to feel the desire. I know what it's like...
I'm ashamed of myself. Please, do not try to give me advice, even if you feel compelled to do so. Just accept me.
Lord God, please accept me...
Fuck vs. Love
If I was married to my girlfriend and walked up to her right now saying, "Baby, let's fuck," her response would be NO! But what's the difference between fucking someone and making "love" to them? They're just different words for the same thing.
I want you to know that I don't usually use this kind of language, so I'm really exploring something different. But it has to be explored, because otherwise I won't know.
So I ask again: is fucking my girlfriend and "loving" her different things?
Or are they the same?
Let me tell you about Jewish marriages in Jesus day: sex was marriage. You see, they took their vows at the alter under a choopa (hoo-pa). This choopa symbolized God. After the vows, it was moved into the bedroom and put over the bed where the couple consumated their marriage. When they were done (having sex), they came outside where everyone was waiting and partied. Sometimes for days (as we see in the wedding at Cana).
I think we can also determine that God is not anti-sex just by knowing he created it as the only way for procreation.
So, does God care if I love my girlfriend or if I fuck her?
I think he does.
Ephesians 5:21 reads: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
This word submit means to give fully. It has nothing to do with who's on top. It only has to do with who's giving themselves all the way. I think that if I were going to have sex, I would want the person to submit themselves to me. And I think they'd like it if I submitted myself to them.
Ephesians 5:33 talks about husbands loving their wives as themselves and wives respecting their husbands. There are many layers to this, but I think on one layer God is saying "Give yourself FULLY during sex. Be united!!!"
I think a couple can be united in everyday of life. But I also think that there is something special at the moment of consumation. I think it's a deeper union. And I don't think it can happen unless both people are fully giving themselves. Submitting.
Can you fully unite with someone if you're fucking them?
Can you fully unite with someone if you're loving them?
Or can you only fully unite with a person when you're submitting to them?
Maybe. Maybe not. That's for you, them, and God (together) to decide.
May you come to see that love is the complete giving away of yourself. May you see that union only comes in this complete giving away. And may you see that our perfect example of submission already exists: Jesus Christ.
I want you to know that I don't usually use this kind of language, so I'm really exploring something different. But it has to be explored, because otherwise I won't know.
So I ask again: is fucking my girlfriend and "loving" her different things?
Or are they the same?
Let me tell you about Jewish marriages in Jesus day: sex was marriage. You see, they took their vows at the alter under a choopa (hoo-pa). This choopa symbolized God. After the vows, it was moved into the bedroom and put over the bed where the couple consumated their marriage. When they were done (having sex), they came outside where everyone was waiting and partied. Sometimes for days (as we see in the wedding at Cana).
I think we can also determine that God is not anti-sex just by knowing he created it as the only way for procreation.
So, does God care if I love my girlfriend or if I fuck her?
I think he does.
Ephesians 5:21 reads: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
This word submit means to give fully. It has nothing to do with who's on top. It only has to do with who's giving themselves all the way. I think that if I were going to have sex, I would want the person to submit themselves to me. And I think they'd like it if I submitted myself to them.
Ephesians 5:33 talks about husbands loving their wives as themselves and wives respecting their husbands. There are many layers to this, but I think on one layer God is saying "Give yourself FULLY during sex. Be united!!!"
I think a couple can be united in everyday of life. But I also think that there is something special at the moment of consumation. I think it's a deeper union. And I don't think it can happen unless both people are fully giving themselves. Submitting.
Can you fully unite with someone if you're fucking them?
Can you fully unite with someone if you're loving them?
Or can you only fully unite with a person when you're submitting to them?
Maybe. Maybe not. That's for you, them, and God (together) to decide.
May you come to see that love is the complete giving away of yourself. May you see that union only comes in this complete giving away. And may you see that our perfect example of submission already exists: Jesus Christ.
7.22.2007
Don't say it; Spray it!
I love my girlfriend. Let me rephrase that. I EROS my girlfriend. And I tell her that everyday I see her.
"Katie, I love you."
"I love you too."
That's a good thing. I'm letting her know that I'm attracted to her. I'm letting her know that she's still pleasing to me, physically. She needs to know this. She's a woman (a species that should always be assured they are wanted. Trust me, they're not the only ones...), and I need to constantly tell her that I still enjoy kissing her, holding her, whispering sweet nothings in her ear.
But when I say, "I love you," that is the only thing I mean. I don't mean that I Agape her. I only mean I Eros her.
On the other hand, I enjoy doing things for Katie. Two nights ago my Aunt was down from Northern Washington. On an average I get to see this Aunt twice a year. While I was sitting down and eating, I got a call from Katie. She was in tears.
I asked her one important question: do you need me?
Family or not, sickness, health, crying or happy, I will one day pledge to be there by Katie's side. But I'm not waiting for marriage. It happens now. I should show her I Agape her NOW.
I have some married friends who I was talking with last night. It amazes me how much they talk. As I sat with them, they entered into one of their conversations. She told him that she thought they were approaching [the situation we were talking about] the wrong way. The conversation that followed was complete honesty, all the way. Agape.
S/He falls down; you help them up. AGAPE.
S/He suffers; you hold their hand. AGAPE.
S/He calls on you for help; you don't hesitate. AGAPE.
Agape is pure, action-showed love. You can't say it; you have to spray it.
"Katie, I love you."
"I love you too."
That's a good thing. I'm letting her know that I'm attracted to her. I'm letting her know that she's still pleasing to me, physically. She needs to know this. She's a woman (a species that should always be assured they are wanted. Trust me, they're not the only ones...), and I need to constantly tell her that I still enjoy kissing her, holding her, whispering sweet nothings in her ear.
But when I say, "I love you," that is the only thing I mean. I don't mean that I Agape her. I only mean I Eros her.
On the other hand, I enjoy doing things for Katie. Two nights ago my Aunt was down from Northern Washington. On an average I get to see this Aunt twice a year. While I was sitting down and eating, I got a call from Katie. She was in tears.
I asked her one important question: do you need me?
Family or not, sickness, health, crying or happy, I will one day pledge to be there by Katie's side. But I'm not waiting for marriage. It happens now. I should show her I Agape her NOW.
I have some married friends who I was talking with last night. It amazes me how much they talk. As I sat with them, they entered into one of their conversations. She told him that she thought they were approaching [the situation we were talking about] the wrong way. The conversation that followed was complete honesty, all the way. Agape.
S/He falls down; you help them up. AGAPE.
S/He suffers; you hold their hand. AGAPE.
S/He calls on you for help; you don't hesitate. AGAPE.
Agape is pure, action-showed love. You can't say it; you have to spray it.
7.21.2007
Vague Americans and Specific Greeks
Our problem when translating the word "love" from Ancient Greek to English is a big one. Anceint Greek has three words for love, while English only has one.
Philia
If I said I loved my family, I would probably mean Philia. If I said I loved my friend, I would probably be Philia. Philia is loyalty, trust, and friendships.
Eros
Wikipedia will tell you that Eros does not have to be a sexual love, but I disagree. Eros is similiar to the word "erotic," and has that type of feel. This love is required for you to marry a person, and even date them. It is the love that says, "I am attracted to you."
Agape
Agape is the all enduring love of God. But don't get confused; this love isn't perfect. It's how you use this love. When God says in the Bible for us to love our enemies, he means Agape. But when Paul says in 2 Timothy 4:10, "For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world...." he means Agape too (wikipedia.org). Agape is a love of total commitment and self-sacrifice.
Liquid Agape
Liquid Agape isn't just about Agape; it's about all three of the loves. They are not the same, and they are not interconnected, but they are fulfilling of each other. We are going to explore this is in the posts to come. We are going to explore how we really love people. And we're going to start where love is the most personal to me: between my girlfriend and me.
7.19.2007
Liquid Agape
Liquid Agape?
What is it?
Is it something?
Or is it someone?
Can we have it?
Or is it untouchable?
What does Agape mean anyway?
So many questions...so many questions.
In Jesus' day, it was common to ask questions. In fact, he encouraged his disciples to ask questions of what he was saying. But sadly, we have been taught that questions are bad. We have been taught that to ask "What if..." is a cardinal sin. We have been taught to accept whatever is handed to us. And when people ask questions, it annoys us.
The truth is that Jesus LOVES questions. He loves it when people ask him things. He loves it when people argue with him. He loves it when people search him out.
I argue with my girlfriend. Not often, but I do it just the same. Our latest one was probably the worst. But it was also the best. There's something special about a couple sitting down and baring their souls to each other. Sitting down and saying, "This is what I think, what I believe." And we did that. And I never kissed her so passsionately afterwards. Why? Because we were closer because of it.
It's the same with God. He wants that closeness of after the argument. He wants us to question EVERTHING we are ever taught.
And so, through this journey, I hope that you do that. That you question deeply what you read and think. What you are taught.
And now, may God be with you and keep you. May you wrestle him, realizing it is the best way to grow closer to him.
And may you realize that God loves discussions that start with: "What if..."
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