Fuck vs. Love

If I was married to my girlfriend and walked up to her right now saying, "Baby, let's fuck," her response would be NO! But what's the difference between fucking someone and making "love" to them? They're just different words for the same thing.

I want you to know that I don't usually use this kind of language, so I'm really exploring something different. But it has to be explored, because otherwise I won't know.

So I ask again: is fucking my girlfriend and "loving" her different things?

Or are they the same?

Let me tell you about Jewish marriages in Jesus day: sex was marriage. You see, they took their vows at the alter under a choopa (hoo-pa). This choopa symbolized God. After the vows, it was moved into the bedroom and put over the bed where the couple consumated their marriage. When they were done (having sex), they came outside where everyone was waiting and partied. Sometimes for days (as we see in the wedding at Cana).

I think we can also determine that God is not anti-sex just by knowing he created it as the only way for procreation.

So, does God care if I love my girlfriend or if I fuck her?

I think he does.

Ephesians 5:21 reads: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

This word submit means to give fully. It has nothing to do with who's on top. It only has to do with who's giving themselves all the way. I think that if I were going to have sex, I would want the person to submit themselves to me. And I think they'd like it if I submitted myself to them.

Ephesians 5:33 talks about husbands loving their wives as themselves and wives respecting their husbands. There are many layers to this, but I think on one layer God is saying "Give yourself FULLY during sex. Be united!!!"

I think a couple can be united in everyday of life. But I also think that there is something special at the moment of consumation. I think it's a deeper union. And I don't think it can happen unless both people are fully giving themselves. Submitting.

Can you fully unite with someone if you're fucking them?

Can you fully unite with someone if you're loving them?

Or can you only fully unite with a person when you're submitting to them?

Maybe. Maybe not. That's for you, them, and God (together) to decide.

May you come to see that love is the complete giving away of yourself. May you see that union only comes in this complete giving away. And may you see that our perfect example of submission already exists: Jesus Christ.